Well, knock me over with a feather

HickTard had an epiphany!

I was surprised to discover that my wife's feelings regarding her approach
to spending was based more on security for the family than in vanity.

WTF?

You can bet that if I was his spouse, I'd be leaving him QLB*. Saving money = vanity.

Haterz, I am being hit with comment overload and I don't know where to start. I'll leave it to you to deal with this one.



*Quick Like Bunny

Don't be a HickTard.

Spring has sprung.
The grass has riz.
I wonder where,
The flowers is.
The bird is on the wing.
Ain't that absurd?
I always thought,
The wing was on the bird!

Of course, if you're HickTard, you're busy preparing your lawn for spring.

And after you're done aerating, top dressing, weeding and removing thatch, you're ready for the first mow of the year! But woe! Your ride around lawnmower is broken and you're going to have to PAY someone to pick it up, fix it and drop it off again! Minimum, $50.

wtf puts it in perspective with this comment:

Spending a $100 or so every few years to keep your mower in working order is money well spent.

I think this explains a lot about why the cars keep breaking down too. You do preventative maintance (oil changes, tune ups, etc) in order to keep it in working order. If you're too cheap for the preventative maintenance, you're going to pay more in the long run.

I think it also explains a lot about his relationship with his wife. He's so fixated on paying down debt in the short term, that he doesn't think about anything else in the long term. Or in the present for that matter.

Spend the money to maintain your stuff. Don't be a HickTard.

Moving day!

Soon! But not now!

And not for me. Gosh, you don't think I'd honestly talk about myself all the time do you? But if you're looking for that, MomTard is moving! Soon, but not now, she will be over here.

Let's give her a housewarming present: some traffic from the link over there on the right: Whine Country Chronicles.

I have the answer!

Thanks to Orson Buggy, we now know why MomTard has so many kids, although she seems to despise them:

Self-conscious: not her fault

Parte the Firste: MomTard

Woe, be unto you who should see MomTard at her kid's (kids'?) soccer game(s):

The other parents probably were whispering, "She must be that mother with seven children. No wonder she looks so bad." It really isn't fair to blame my uglies on the kids.

It sounds to me like she does blame her "uglies" on the kids. Of course, that's not fair.

It also sounds like what unbelievable says in a comment:

Sometimes I fix my hair & wear makeup but more often than not I don't. I can honestly say that I don't feel self-conscious either way. Just so you know, the majority of *normal* GROWNUP people don't either.

It's a shame that your self esteem is so low, maybe some counseling would help!

Of course, MomTard comes back and says she doesn't care about what other people think. After all, that entire post was about

how people feel self-conscious when no one else is paying attention

Riiiiiiiight.

So if we combine her first statement on how having to deal with the kids makes it difficult for her to face the world, and her second statement about how people feel self-conscious that leads us to this: MomTard is saying its her kids' fault that she feels self-conscious about her appearance.

Last I checked, it was MomTard who was in control of her feelings - not anyone else.

Woo! We're Number 1! and Two!

As of today, Nutty Net Knowitalls is google hit number one for "Momtard"

And google hit number two for "Hicktard"

Well done!

Now, what's the prize? Anyone?

Damn blogger

I had a big long post done and then blogger ate it. ] That post is now below this one.

The short version

Read these posts from HickTard

• HickTard talks about retirement. He should think about becoming a Wal-Mart greeter because they'll take anyone.
• How to fix your life problems using application development techniques. He should write a book.
• Wives are expensive. How dare she want to actually spend time with him. The absolute gall.
• I don't want to be like Uncle Bubba. But lets not worry about the kids; they can handle it.

Now, comment.

And to any intrepid haterz out there, I seem to recall a post or a comment from HickTard about one of his coworkers discovering his blog. Provide the link if you can find it. I think he might be up for a doocing.

Relatives, Relationships and Retirement, OH MY!

Well, would you look at that. Here's the post I thought blogger ate.

How's that for the 3 R's? Readin', rightin' and 'rithmitic.



So because we haven't visited with HickTard lately, I thought that a bit of an extended post might be in order. Grab a BEvERage, pull up a seat and snark away.



Back on March 24, HickTard posted about what happens when people get old and refuse to die. Says the Tard 'o the Hick:

After our conversation all I could think about was what I could to avoid a similar situation with my parents since they are getting older. Additionally, what I could do to avoid a similar problem for my wife and I

Apparently, his kids don't factor into this AT ALL. Remember, he's the one who had his kids contributing to their debt reduction (if some intrepid hater could provide that link in a comment, I'd be ever so grateful because let's face it - I'm a bit lazy).



On March 27, he pissed off his wife:

She really let me have it, "I'm sick and tired of us not doing anything together! Every time we do anything it's always with the kids. Why can't we do things alone or with other couples?" It went on like this for almost 40 minutes. Then, I put my foot in my mouth. With absolutely no idea of how I would do it, I promised her that every Saturday afternoon I would make it a point to spend time with her alone and take her somewhere.

Oh heavens to mursey! This is a problem, because going out means spending money you know:

Now, I’m stuck with trying to find a way to keep my word and avoid spending too much money.HELP!!!!

In fact, this sounds a whole lot like someone else a lot of us here know. The original FlipTard, the poster boy for the real estate bubble, etc., also had a lot of problems with his wife.



As for HickTard, god forbid you and your wife should go for a walk and have a picnic (hey! you could use food that's already in the fridge! But watch out for spoiled mayo). Its not all Jamba Juice and Macaroni Grill you know.



Also, did you know that you can address life's problems by using application development techniques? Perhaps he should publish a book on this, just like another person most of us know here was going to publish a book so people could learn from his failures.



And finally, retirement. The dream of every hard-working person who plans ahead. Except for HickTard:

But, baring [sic] any major physical disabilities I will try to perform some
kind of work until I die.

That's nice. I hear Wal-mart is always looking for greeters. And they'll usually hire you even if you have "physical disabilities".



(And as with the last post, a reminder to click through to his blog from here)