Oh how vulgar!

What lawnmowerman said today about MomTard:

Today's post is just crying out for a "fuck fuck fuckety fuck fuck" link from nuttynetters.

And indeed it is worthy of a fuck fuck fuckety fuck link from here.

Enough vulgarity for you? If not, please add some in the comments.

Well, knock me over with a feather

HickTard had an epiphany!

I was surprised to discover that my wife's feelings regarding her approach
to spending was based more on security for the family than in vanity.

WTF?

You can bet that if I was his spouse, I'd be leaving him QLB*. Saving money = vanity.

Haterz, I am being hit with comment overload and I don't know where to start. I'll leave it to you to deal with this one.



*Quick Like Bunny

Don't be a HickTard.

Spring has sprung.
The grass has riz.
I wonder where,
The flowers is.
The bird is on the wing.
Ain't that absurd?
I always thought,
The wing was on the bird!

Of course, if you're HickTard, you're busy preparing your lawn for spring.

And after you're done aerating, top dressing, weeding and removing thatch, you're ready for the first mow of the year! But woe! Your ride around lawnmower is broken and you're going to have to PAY someone to pick it up, fix it and drop it off again! Minimum, $50.

wtf puts it in perspective with this comment:

Spending a $100 or so every few years to keep your mower in working order is money well spent.

I think this explains a lot about why the cars keep breaking down too. You do preventative maintance (oil changes, tune ups, etc) in order to keep it in working order. If you're too cheap for the preventative maintenance, you're going to pay more in the long run.

I think it also explains a lot about his relationship with his wife. He's so fixated on paying down debt in the short term, that he doesn't think about anything else in the long term. Or in the present for that matter.

Spend the money to maintain your stuff. Don't be a HickTard.

Moving day!

Soon! But not now!

And not for me. Gosh, you don't think I'd honestly talk about myself all the time do you? But if you're looking for that, MomTard is moving! Soon, but not now, she will be over here.

Let's give her a housewarming present: some traffic from the link over there on the right: Whine Country Chronicles.

I have the answer!

Thanks to Orson Buggy, we now know why MomTard has so many kids, although she seems to despise them:

Self-conscious: not her fault

Parte the Firste: MomTard

Woe, be unto you who should see MomTard at her kid's (kids'?) soccer game(s):

The other parents probably were whispering, "She must be that mother with seven children. No wonder she looks so bad." It really isn't fair to blame my uglies on the kids.

It sounds to me like she does blame her "uglies" on the kids. Of course, that's not fair.

It also sounds like what unbelievable says in a comment:

Sometimes I fix my hair & wear makeup but more often than not I don't. I can honestly say that I don't feel self-conscious either way. Just so you know, the majority of *normal* GROWNUP people don't either.

It's a shame that your self esteem is so low, maybe some counseling would help!

Of course, MomTard comes back and says she doesn't care about what other people think. After all, that entire post was about

how people feel self-conscious when no one else is paying attention

Riiiiiiiight.

So if we combine her first statement on how having to deal with the kids makes it difficult for her to face the world, and her second statement about how people feel self-conscious that leads us to this: MomTard is saying its her kids' fault that she feels self-conscious about her appearance.

Last I checked, it was MomTard who was in control of her feelings - not anyone else.

Woo! We're Number 1! and Two!

As of today, Nutty Net Knowitalls is google hit number one for "Momtard"

And google hit number two for "Hicktard"

Well done!

Now, what's the prize? Anyone?