Withering on the Grapevine

Our friend Arthur Wankspittle contributed the following on our favorite matriarch:

Have you noticed the changes at WhingeCountyContentless recently? Yes, ever since someone did a bit of net research and found one of Carol’s previous addresses, the place has had a security clampdown like a North Korean newspaper reporting a national disaster.

One of the few reasons for visiting WhingeCountyContentless was to see how inane, sycophantic and bland your comments had to be to get past moderation. You have to suspect that the hundreds of moderated comments that didn’t make it were much better reading than the handful that were allowed through; plus they were probably better written. Now all that is left is the doleful ramblings of the second-in-command of Stalag Maxwohlauf. All there is to look forward to is the wishful, covetousness of local real estate, which no one in their right mind would touch in the current market anyway, and the start of the soccer season with its paranoid, agoraphobic, “I don’t really want to be here” reluctant soccer mum postings.

But wait. There’s something new on the net and it’s a new business venture. Or is it? Is this just a revised Temecula Gifts? Is someone in need of a bit of re-branding? Did someone need to lose the “Temecula” part as it is too localised for the world market they are going to compete in?Now you’ve checked out the links you can see that anyone needing a bright and breezy read can head for Grapevine Promotions’ little blogspot. See if you can tell from the style who is the “friendly staff”.

One question though, if you were launching (re-launching?) a web based business, wouldn’t you want the website working first? Currently http://www.grapevinepromos.com/ is showing a message including “If you are the owner of this web site you have not uploaded (or incorrectly uploaded) your web site.” If you need some technical help, there’s this kid in Sacramento who needs some work.

So, who didn’t get the website working such that it necessitated setting up a blogspot blog and “running” the business through it for a few weeks? Why? What’s wrong with an Ebay store?

New tard needs a name

So there's the guy who I've been following on the sidelines a bit - quite honestly I have been preoccupied with some other things. And although I offer REPEATEDLY, no intrepid haterz wish to take this place over.

At the request of WeWantTheFunk, here's a post about this new tard who is currently nameless (more on that below). He's got two places on the web. The first is Truckhouse. The second is 7:21pm - the latter, IMHO, is far more amusing.

He needs a name. Names submitted so far include:

• TruckTard
• MargariTard
• WasteTard
• TurtleTard

Put the name you want in the comments; I'll check back in a week or 10 days, submit the results to Nacho and have him make a decision on this.

Oh how vulgar!

What lawnmowerman said today about MomTard:

Today's post is just crying out for a "fuck fuck fuckety fuck fuck" link from nuttynetters.

And indeed it is worthy of a fuck fuck fuckety fuck link from here.

Enough vulgarity for you? If not, please add some in the comments.

Well, knock me over with a feather

HickTard had an epiphany!

I was surprised to discover that my wife's feelings regarding her approach
to spending was based more on security for the family than in vanity.

WTF?

You can bet that if I was his spouse, I'd be leaving him QLB*. Saving money = vanity.

Haterz, I am being hit with comment overload and I don't know where to start. I'll leave it to you to deal with this one.



*Quick Like Bunny

Don't be a HickTard.

Spring has sprung.
The grass has riz.
I wonder where,
The flowers is.
The bird is on the wing.
Ain't that absurd?
I always thought,
The wing was on the bird!

Of course, if you're HickTard, you're busy preparing your lawn for spring.

And after you're done aerating, top dressing, weeding and removing thatch, you're ready for the first mow of the year! But woe! Your ride around lawnmower is broken and you're going to have to PAY someone to pick it up, fix it and drop it off again! Minimum, $50.

wtf puts it in perspective with this comment:

Spending a $100 or so every few years to keep your mower in working order is money well spent.

I think this explains a lot about why the cars keep breaking down too. You do preventative maintance (oil changes, tune ups, etc) in order to keep it in working order. If you're too cheap for the preventative maintenance, you're going to pay more in the long run.

I think it also explains a lot about his relationship with his wife. He's so fixated on paying down debt in the short term, that he doesn't think about anything else in the long term. Or in the present for that matter.

Spend the money to maintain your stuff. Don't be a HickTard.

Moving day!

Soon! But not now!

And not for me. Gosh, you don't think I'd honestly talk about myself all the time do you? But if you're looking for that, MomTard is moving! Soon, but not now, she will be over here.

Let's give her a housewarming present: some traffic from the link over there on the right: Whine Country Chronicles.

I have the answer!

Thanks to Orson Buggy, we now know why MomTard has so many kids, although she seems to despise them: