Like: What is this place about?
Ever notice how many Stupid People™ create blogs and web sites and share their idiotic points of view? This blog will be dedicated to those bloggers who should just shut the hell up and get off the internet. The blogs spotlighted on Nutty Net Knowitalls serve as a kind of testament to humankind's eternal ego, stupidity, and folly. A kind of microcosm in themselves.
Today's winner is one we like to call MomTard because she qualifies for the Casey Serin Award for Stupidity™.
Comments and site links welcome
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
Murst, loosers!
@Ogg,
Murst of a murst post is a true accomplishment.
I nominate Prophet Yahweh for a UFOtard award.
Has anyone else noticed Momtard's strange Monk-like tendencies? In previous posts, she was so disgusted by the idea of scrubbing out her own toilet, she had to drain it first, confessed that she "discreetly" uses hand sanitizer after she shakes anyone's hand, and mentioned that she always wipes down her entire grocery cart with those courtesy wipes for handles.
Today, she tells us that she has a port-a-potty in her van so that her daughter doesn't have to use a public restroom. Not only is she obsessed with herself - after all, she is a hoot! - even her husband thinks so - but is obsessive compulsive as well...
This post by MomTard:
http://whinecountryrealestate.blogspot.com/2008/02/i-dont-leave-home-without-it.html
. . . might very well be the most boring post in the history of the internet. Ever.
She talks about the kinds of things she never leaves home without. I will save you the trouble of having to read through. They are: baby wipes, Sharpie marker, superglue, packing tape, etc. We are treated to a brief exposition on why each of these is essential.
I thought I'd lost all my faith in humanity, but MomTard is quickly showing me that I hadn't hit anywhere near bottom. MomTard is the absolute paragon, exemplar, or whatever you want to say of turning the mundane into the trivial.
You know, guys, if I wanted to, I could spend some time telling you about all the things I never leave home without. A knife, a flashlight, my cell phone, my penis. But you know why I don't regale you at length with such matters?
Because I would expect you to kill me instantly if I did, which is the only healthy response of any member of a particular species when he/she/it sees that another member has gone loco insane to the point where he/she/it is a mere blot on existence, with no point or purpose, a mere cumstain on God's underwear, as it were, in sore need of a washing. Yep, I would expect you to hunt me down and kill me, not quickly and humanely, but slowly and painfully for your own pleasure, because then at least I would be providing some purpose on the face of the planet, rather than just ingesting precious carbohydrates and proteins and things and expelling shit in return.
That's why, my friends. That's why you will never read a post of mine itemizing the indispensable items I never leave home without. Because I recognize that the world really isn't much interested in the minutiae I think is important to have in my pockets and that the state of believing it to be important enough to post to the net for all to see depicts a kind of pathology that must be, like the smallpox virus, eradicated, destroyed. Scoured. Cleansed by fire. Sterilized.
With seven children, MomTard has presumably been changing diapers and wiping butts for a couple of decades, but gets all squeamish at the notion of putting her hand in a (clean) toilet or touching a supermarket cart or greeting a fellow parishoner at church. Then she gives a description of the interior of her car that is enough to turn a stomach. I think she really prefers to stay at home and keep her kids out of school than to drive that germ-ridden sewage-filled vehicle. I know I would.
http://whinecountryrealestate.blogspot.com/2008/02/where-oh-where-can-my-license-be.html
Has anyone else noticed that Momtard makes up lists when she has nothing to write.
Today Momtard lists the debris on the floor of her van.
Well, remember, for lack of being able to find a $10K Lexus, Momtard doesn't get to drive the sewage-filled Tardbus any more....
Poptard's stint driving the 15-seat, porta-potty equipped Tardbus may just inspire him to take up a less restrictive lifestyle like the U-Haul dude.
Post a Comment