Friday, February 8, 2008

Ask MomTard

There are a goodly number of questions people want to ask MomTard. I, myself, posted one to her blog in the hopes that she would answer it. Sadly, it hasn't made its way through comment moderation onto her site.

On her Don't Leave Home Without It post, MomTard tells us about all the crap Useful Things she carries around in her purse, including superglue. At some point I either saw a movie or read somewhere that in Antartica, doctors use superglue to glue the edges of cuts together or they won't heal properly - something about the atmospheric pressure weirdness down there. So I asked her if she had ever used the superglue that she carries around in her craphole purse to glue the edges of a cut together.

Sadly, she has not answered. Or she will steal my idea. Or, because she is infatuated with germs, she will not answer my question because It Is Digusting To Put That Stuff On Your Hands Or Any Other Body Part.

In light of the fact that questions don't seem to be getting through, this post is for you to leave your questions for MomTard.

Let's start with this one, courtesy of The Dude:

Couple of questions I'd like to ask MomTard: About the germs and the kids:
With my first one I freaked every time he stuck something in his mouth....thinking he's going to get some rare jungle disease. HOWEVER, after a while I figured out they are tougher than they look. The second one chewed on keys and stuff like that and was just fine. After SEVEN, wouldn't you think she would have figured that out?

About other germs: How did she get pregnant SEVEN times if it meant getting pretty close to PopTard's one-eyed trouser snake? Did she sanitize it, or something? Wouldn't that be a pretty good spermicide.

Leave your questions for MomTard in the comments.

5 comments:

lawnmower man said...

I'd like to ask her: does she think that her smother-love for her kids is actually healthy for them?

She homeschools. They're not allowed to go to the mall. She's with them "7/24/365". She limits their social contacts because she's afraid of The Evil Germs.

Sounds like her oldest was lucky to escape to college.

lawnmower man said...

Oops, I spoke too soon: oldest son is set to return to the nest:

He'll be graduating this May. He's hoping for a job offer (and has been told that he's getting one) from the company where he's been interning for 18 months (telecommuting from school, at times). So, he'll be moving back in with us and paying room and board for a shared room with his brother, food, and utilities.

So, an employed college graduate living at home with mom -- and sharing a room with a brother? I'll bet that goes down well with the chicks.

He's an adult, Carol; let him go.

Anonymous said...

"Also, I've received e-mails from many of you who claim to be enjoying my posts and find them very funny."

I'd like to ask MomTard what the heck she meant by that ambiguous statement.

Also, can we hear about some wacky adventures soon?

Anonymous said...

Carol -
Do you have pungent odors in your laundry room? Do your children pee in the bushes? If so, how come your toilet was so dirty?

Anonymous said...

Momtard -

why don't you put your tax refund towards buying a new car, since you obviously need one? I know this would destroy your "holier than thou" attitude about how other people choose to spend their money and all, but it would make a certain amount of sense.